If You Like Pina Coladas...

... But also love your new bikini: 

Happy National Pina Colada Day!  So delicious, so summery, but unfortunately such a calorie bomb. Don't get me wrong, I love a good milkshake probably too much for my own sake but here's my issue with our pinapplely coconutty friends.  It's The Alcohol.  Yeah, never thought I'd ever say that either. The issue with the alcohol is that it further slows down your metabolism and causes all that sugar to be converted right to fat.  My other issue with the alcohol in these babies could best be described by a childhood favorite read: If You Give a Mouse A Cookie.  Before I go all Puppy Who Lost His Way on you, I'll sum it up as: when I have one drink (especially at the beach/pool/weekend/Tuesday night) I will for sure want another.  So I trolled the internet to find a variety of skinny versions of the Pina Colada (I am never getting on Pinterest again) Skinny Style because it's Friday and who really wants to chase a milkshake with shots.  

You're welcome.  

SHAPE MAGAZINE'S SKINNY COLADA 

- 2 oz. SKYY Infusions Coconut 

- 1/4 oz. SKYY Infusions Pineapple

- 2 oz. Club Soda

- Splash of Pineapple Juice 

- Squeeze of Lemon 

Directions: Mix Over Ice In a Highball Glass *Solo Cup*

170 calories 

LEAN-YA COLADA 

(from Domesticate-Me)

- 1 cup frozen pineapple

- 1/4 C pineapple juice 

- 1/2 C vanilla flavored coconut 

- 1/4 tsp light agave nectar

- 1 1/2 oz light rum 

Directions: "Blend until smooth.  Serve with a pineapple slice/ maraschino *moonshine* cherry if your'e feeling festive" 

or the need to overcompensate.   

SKINNY PINACLE PINA COLADA

- 2 parts Pinnacle Coconut Vodka 

- 4 parts Club Soda 

- Splash Pineapple Juice Mix 

Directions: Dump all of the above in some sort of nonporous object that contains ice.  

GUILT- FREE PINA COLADA 

(from Eating Bird Food) - (serves 2)

- 1/2 C frozen pineapple chunks 

- 10 oz. coconut water 

- 3 oz. Coconut Rum 

 - Splash of Sparkling Coconut Water 

Directions: Blend all ingredients except the sparkling coconut water and serve over ice.  Then add the splash of sparkling coconut water (say that 5x fast).  "Take a sip and imagine you're sitting on the beach with your toes in the sand" and not in an inflatable kiddie pool purchased from Target that is too small to accommodate the presence of other inflatable objects. 

"CREAMY" SKINNY COLADA

- 1/2 C frozen pineapple chunks 
- 10 oz. coconut water 
- 3 oz. Coconut Rum 
- 1 oz. Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk 
- 1 Frozen Banana

Directions: "Blend all ingredients in a blender, pour into a glass and sing If You Like Pina Coladas as loud as you want".  

Or don't. 

 LIGHT & creamy(ugh, this word is the new moist) COLADAS

- 4 oz. coconut rum 

- 3 oz. light coconut milk

- 4 oz. coconut water  

- 3 oz. pineapple juice 

- 2 cups crushed ice 

- 2 maraschino cherries (extra points if they contain moonshine) 

Directions: Blend all the ingredients (*except the cherries, igno*) and then pour into a cup.  This is a drink for 2 just in case you haven't picked that up from the ingredients list.  No, you just don't get 2 cherries.  Or just drink it alone so you don't have to worry about a blender accident later.  

***

& For Your BBQ/Pool Day Tomorrow:

SKINNY TASTE 85 CAL COLADA ICE POPS

- 1 1/3 C canned pineapple 
- 1/4 C pineapple juice - just dump it out of the above mentioned can 
- 1/4 C sugar (OR Spenda if you want cancer OR Stevia if you trust yourself) 
- 1/2 C light coconut milk 
- 1 tsp coconut extract 
- 1 tbsp dark rum 

Directions: Cut the pineapple into chunks.  Hopefully you avoided slicing open your hand freeing it from the can, so don't maim yourself now.  Puree errthang and pour into popsicle molds.  Pregame with one of the above cocktails, enjoy your Friday, and then wake up to one hell of a breakfast in the morning. 

  Here's To You, Eating Bird Food, Don't Ever Change.